Disclaimer**
Being comfortable where you are does NOT mean be okay with being stagnant. There will be an explanation behind the phrase. This post is not to enable you to stand still. BUT for you to not feel that you failed because of where you are.
At this moment, you are exactly where you are supposed to be…
We’ve all been there, comparing our lives to those within our age group. Comparing ourselves to the people we’ve graduated high school and/or college with, our coworkers, and our family members. We always feel that we should be either on the same track as them; or past it. We never truly feel fulfilled or comfortable in knowing that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be at this very moment. Because we feel that we failed.
I’ve been there. Comparing my life to those in proximity. Wondering “what if I finished school before I had my son?”; “what if I focused on working for the government when I first started college?” and “why didn’t I choose to go to another university instead of the one that discouraged me….? Especially when it wasn’t even my first preference.” Questions. Questions I’ve asked myself at every point of my life, the what if’s that can easily ruin any peace of mind or drive I have to do better… The question that can easily build resentment of self, depression and ruin my future. I felt like a failure. I didn’t deserve happiness, success or peace… or so I thought…..
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.” – Ecclesiastes 3 1-2 NLT
Life. It’s just a part of life. Whether you take 8 steps forward and 3 steps back… A thousands steps forward and two hundred steps back… It’s all a part of life’s lesson. Life’s process. We are meant to learn from every positive and negative experience. Some of us use optimism to get through, pessimism, or even faith. We choose the aspect we want to hold on to, to get us through life. And it progresses from a newly formed habit, to our coping mechanism. Which can either help you or hinder you.
From a personal experience
I’ve made a lot of choices in my life; that I most likely shouldn’t have made; done a few things I know damn well I shouldn’t have… and slacked on the things that should have had my complete focus. I’ve made mistakes, fixed some, made some more, accepted what was done and found peace in forgiving myself and putting my next foot forward. No, It was not easy. I felt like I was in the deepest and darkest hole. I cried, I fought depression, I broke, I was angry, I was godless, I was hurt, and I was disappointed in myself. It’s hard to find peace and the strength to move forward when you’re still stuck in the same downward spiral. When you’re constantly checking your rear view to see everything you’ve missed. And sometimes, it’s more than enough to send you into a downward spiral.
I had to fight myself and my thoughts just to put myself on the right path. At first, I was forcing myself to “think differently”; which meant training myself and my thoughts on how to put things into a different; and by different, I mean positive, perspective. That perspective and leaning on my faith more; helped me transition from severe depression into a more positive and peaceful mindset. I gave myself time to reflect on the past; and understand the lessons that I HAD to learn from each experience. I learned how to effectively set realistic and attainable goals. I stopped looking back. But most importantly, I forgave myself.
The Lesson
Life is one big classroom. You learn to live and live to learn. I’ve learned to take the time out to just breathe. I watch the clouds float, and the leaves drift to the ground. I’ll even stop to watch the water ripple in a pond. Life is going to keep moving forward. Even if YOU are choosing to stand still. Being comfortable in your current space does not mean be stagnant. It means understanding that God has a time and a place for you. Everything we’ve ever been through assists us with unlocking our purpose and actually fulfilling it.
Think of it this way
Everyone has their own cross to bare, the weight they carry through life. One day, you’ll have to use that cross to get to the other side. Two things can happen, you can take short cuts, not learn anything, and be unprepared when it comes to actually using this cross. Your cross won’t be long enough to get you where you need to go. Why? Because you CHOSE to deflect and not learn. You chose to be stagnant, cold and closed off. The other outcome, is actually learning from everything, understanding that there is a purpose, and carrying the TRUE weight of that cross. When it comes time to finally lay down that burden and move on to your next phase, you WILL transition smoothly. You would have learned everything you need to learn. you would be open to life and love. But most importantly, you will come full circle with your life’s purpose.
Keep going
Remain thankful, Joy-Filled and always moving forward. Find the light in your life, and use that light to help guide others. Understand, that where you are right now, is not definitive of where you’ll end up in the future. Nothing in life is “pointless” or “stupid”. It all serves its purpose. But trust me, What God has planned for you is bigger and greater than anything you could ever imagine. Just don’t block your own blessing.
