Dating with Purpose.

Disclaimer* Before you get all sensitive

No, I am “not a bitter, independent black woman that doesn’t need a man”. I’m not nor have I ever been your “stereotypical black woman”. I believe in dating, love and marriage…. This generation has slid so far off of the deep end when it comes to dating, relationships and marriage. Something has to change. A lot of us are not dating with purpose.

Take this as a (mini) rant. Maybe someone, somewhere; can explain the part that I’m missing.

I can’t even lie and say that I am not disappointed in this (my) generation.

The meaning and purpose behind dating has changed drastically. People are literally out here just “buying” time and not taking anything serious. People are soooo proud to boast about how they are “all about their money” and they love how unattached they are, when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, And then you have the ones that forget completely WHAT relationships actually are and the meaning of BOUNDARIES!!. And all of this “Netflix and chill”.

*eye roll* The rant

I honestly don’t understand how proud you can be to not only treat others terribly; but to boast about all the wreckage you’ve caused. How can you feel comfortable going through life and putting that terrible, terrible karma into the universe? Do we forget that we will GET BACK EVERYTHING we have put into the universe? There is something called Karma and Karma has mercy on no (w0)man, But even worse, we’re not only wasting people’s time but we’re leaving a trail of broken hearts behind us. Life will one day catch up with us.. And you better hope you can take what you’ve dished out.

We’re too busy playing with people’s emotions and very rarely giving that person complete honesty. There’s no respect or even regard for the other person, or their feelings. Zero accountability or remorse. never looking for anything serious. Following any “trap gawd” or “Where the hoes at?” lifestyle.

We can’t even humble ourselves and admit our faults. We can’t push our egos aside and apologize. Even when we know deep down that not only are we wrong; but if you were to lose that very person.. you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. Instead of doing what’s right, we play the “we don’t care about you” game…. and it’s a lose lose for everybody.

Our generation has lost the actual meaning and purpose of relationships and building genuine relationships. They want all of the perks without the work. They want their significant other to splurge on them and to always be available for them but they want to be selfish. Everything is one sided. They don’t care to see or understand someone else’s perspective.

We CHOOSE to not take anything serious “but our money.” And even then. we’re only serious about it to splurge on the unnecessary….  And you can’t even say that you have a decent credit score to vouch for it. We have built lives that we can profile on social media. Just to look “appealing” to those that are liking our pictures. Frontin’ for people that genuinely don’t care.

The art of dating

As humans, we weren’t created to go through life alone. We were made to not only receive love, but to give love in return. We’re just out here pretending to be cold hearted and acting like the lifestyle doesn’t phase us. We don’t keep a genuine circle of friends nor do we actually take the time to let our guard down, to find that missing piece.

At some point, we do have to buckle down and get serious…

But for some it may come at a point in life where it’s too late. I always hear about the “one that got away…” and it’s not that they got away. It’s just that when the opportunity presented itself for you to have a chance with that person. You failed. You couldn’t find a way to get out of that janky head space. You couldn’t remove the bad habits of treating that person with disrespect. You taught yourself how to “not love these hoes”; and in turn you didn’t even attempt to be a decent human being to the one you lost. And now that they’re gone, you’re “oh, so hurt.” and you fail to realize why there won’t ever be another chance.

Yes, I’m aware that getting your feelings hurt, isn’t just shits and giggles. It’s hard to bounce back sometimes, having to starting over. But closing yourself off to love; does not work in your favor. It just makes going through life more complicated. .

Dating with purpose

We’re starting to move into the age range where marriage, babies and love is starting to “not look so bad.” we see our peers getting engaged, married and having babies. And it’s only natural for us to start considering the same,

We have to look pass all of the physical.. and think about the parts of the person you’re dating. Their sense of humor, favorite foods, their intellect and how well they understand you. Nice lips and thick thighs, will only take you but so far. Find someone that embodies your morals, someone you would love to share and experience life with.


Don’t grow old, gray and lonely; playing hard to get. Stop making excuses and do what your moral compass says is right. And stop trying to keep up with society. As long as your life is filled with love and purpose… that should be all that matters.

Humble yourself. Remain open to love. And just be happy. Your life will be measured by experiences, the joys you shared, the love you’ve given and everything you’ve done.
Make life worth living. Choose to love.


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