Sexuality: The state or quality of being sexual.
Sensuality: The unrestrained indulgence of sensual pleasures.
Sensual: pertaining to or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses. Carnal. Fleshy. Fulfilling an appetite.
Growing Up Prude…
I was taught that your sensuality and sexuality were things to be kept to yourself. Pride yourself in keeping your secrets. You don’t share those aspects of “that” world with everyone. You keep your desires to yourself.. It should be shared with only you and your partner (significant other) and that’s it. Keep your legs closed at the knees. Keep your goods to yourself.. Ladies should NOT conduct themselves in an “open” manor IF you ever want to be someone’s wife…
As women, we’re taught at a young age that our aspiration IS to be someone’s wife, have children, take care of the home.. “Girl, you better catch a good one.” That’s it. It’s not about what you want to accomplish in life, it’s not about the passion or the pain you experience.
Not too much pleasure, or you’re loose. Not too much fun, or you’re unruly. Don’t roam the streets, or you’re troubled.
We are supposed to appear as women that want to be kept. We aren’t allowed to be sexual beings. You cannot appear to be a sensual or confident woman. Because instantly, you’re labeled a hoe and you’re godless… But How?
Save yourself. Don’t cross the lines. You want to be a wife someday… right?
Personally, I feel that women should have the right to explore their sensuality at their own discretion. Every woman should be allowed to embrace her sensuality. We are more than capable of choosing the route and path we desire to travel. We can be unruly, unkept, we can roam the streets… We can live… We are allowed to be Free.
That’s part of what makes us women. Being in touch with the ins and outs of our senses and our bodies. We have the right to feel sexy, sultry and desired. There shouldn’t be a gimmick or label put on it either. It shouldn’t ruin who we are. We shouldn’t be considered less wholesome, more problematic, or nasty because of it.
I have taken a lot of time to “grow into myself”, if that makes any sense. I had to get used to and embrace the fact that I had curves and my new body. It has taken some time for me to love every inch, curve and stretch mark… And it has not been easy. I had to realize that every part of me makes me who I am. It took forever for me to feel comfortable with myself, after I had my son. My body changed tremendously, and if I followed the media, I would never find myself attractive. I had to remind myself and create a new mentality. One that accepted me being “thickums” and was confident about it.
It’s 2016, What truly prevents women from embracing their beings?
There’s a HUGE STIGMA that prevents women from embracing their sensuality and exploring self. When women exhibit their freedoms or their inhibitions. They are called “hoes”, unruly, not wife material, etc.
Exploring and embracing your sensuality doesn’t equal sex. It doesn’t mean that you’re giving your goods up to every “Tom, Dick and Harry” that you meet. You’re just embracing the essence of what makes you, YOU. And every woman deserves to OWN that side of themselves.
We have every right to embrace every curve and the coyness of what makes us women. We love, we nurture, we support, we create. WE are WOMEN. And as a woman, I deserve to understand what entices me. The things that please MY senses. Let your personality shine and don’t allow yourself to be tied down to stigmas.
Embracing our sensuality, increases our confidence. It helps us stand firm in who we are.
I asked this question on instagram, “What are your thoughts on women embracing their sensuality?”
I received a few answers that definitely had me thinking. These two stood out the most.
“It’s important and a part of who we are. I feel we’ve been made to suppress it because of the negative connotations people spew towards women in entertainment. But no matter the platform, a woman’s natural quality embodies sensuality. It’s who we are. We are beautiful, clever, coy, cunning and comforting nurturers. If we don’t embrace it then we are suppressing our natural tendency. I was very afraid to share mine because of what I felt the church would say. People are going to look at you crazy no matter what you do. Embrace your NATURAL WOMAN. JUST BE TASTEFUL AND TRUE TO WHO YOU ARE INSIDE. Do what jives with your spirit. My opinion.” – Chrisette Michele
“Men and women alike should do so. And everyone is different. All the fuss we make about sex and how much of it women have makes it awkward to talk about and experiment with confidently, but then all men want a freak. Its a lose, lose for us from a societal standpoint because you’re either deemed a prude for not being promiscuous or a slut for enjoying sex. So as with everything else I say People should just do what makes them happy but be mindful about who they do it with and be safe” – LocLoveLivesHere
Hiding yourself should no longer be an option. Yes, we are choosey when it comes to WHO we share ourselves with, as we should be.. However we should not be limited.
What are your thoughts? Have you embraced your sensuality?