I am shielded by God’s grace and never-ending mercy. Am i deserving? Not yet, but I am forever grateful the blessings that arise from the ashes of the burned down parts of my life. Let’s get deep in it.
What IS Mercury Retrograde?
Mercury retrograde is when Mercury moves in it’s opposite direction. But with that simple redirection, comes a lot of transitional moments and sometimes chaos that happens 4 times a year. There is disruption with technology but also a lot of disruption within your personal lives. Relationships dissolve – people show their true self during this time. Frustration is at an all time high. Miscommunication, Letting go and facing your shadow self are all common during Mercury Retrograde. Fun right?
Mercury Retrograde Taught me
The retrograde taught me, and taught me wellllll. Whew, from the beginning all the way up until the very last hour of the last day. I learned. I was taught 3 major things this retrograde. Just from becoming an internal observer. Watching myself, reactions, feelings, thoughts and how it, in most cases, was a direct reflection of the situations I was in. Those moments of silence were damning, but also marked the end of a lot of things and sparked the change that came into August.
You don’t have to stay where you are unloved or unwanted
Even though this SHOULD be common sense, I’ve realized that it’s okay to leave. It’s okay to let go of people and situations. It’s okay to close chapters and change the “planned” or proposed future. Being still, not making excuses and truly sitting in how I felt in those moments. Sparked a change – a realization that this is not what life is meant to be for me. Being certain situations made me super uncomfortable, physically, emotionally & spiritually. Sitting in that discomfort made me realize that 1. no one is worth feeling that way over and 2. that discomfort, sadness or pain is a sign that I have officially outgrown certain spaces. Removing myself from those things/situations weren’t due to malice. I just knew that I deserved peace of mind and spirit… We all do.
You determine Your Worth Not Them
Sitting with myself in mostly silence, while dealing with stressors in my personal and work life; allowed me the true space and time to truly come to grips with how I perceived myself. Taking the time to truly sit with myself and get to the root of my insecurity. Of course, like many, I thought about all of the physical aspects that I could work on and change to be more appealing. Pondered on all of the changes I could make to self – both physically and mentally that would allow others to true see and value me. Maybe if I endured more stress and strife from people they’d see that I was worthy. But in those late and quiet nights, I was able to re-calculate my own worth. Am I worth less when there isn’t anyone around – just me? Am I worth more surrounded by people that genuinely don’t care about me? Or am I worthy simply because I am?
That revelation of knowing that I am worthy of being loved in sunflowers. Worthy of being loved in my soul language, appreciated all the way down to the being of my core. From end to end – top to bottom. Simply because I am. My value is far more than what others have labeled me as; and I shouldn’t allow anyone to dictate that but me.
Be different – Evolve when you’re ready. Desire More
Goals, aspirations, upgrades, modifications – changes. Different names, different ways to elevate and change. Constantly choosing to climb the ladder within myself; unlocking new floors, new levels and new heights. All the while, falling in love with myself and the path God has called me on. Burning candles, palo santo, sage and praying. Functioning in gratitude and walking in my Goddess rite. Understanding that I am not, will not and cannot be happy living within society’s mold. My dreams and desires are not of this plane, and that’s okay. I had to find comfort in aligning myself with God in the way that the universe sees fit for me – without caring about what the public will think of me.
I am allowed to evolve just like everyone else. I can move on. I can elevate. I’m on a path destined to win. I excel at a pace meant for me, constantly working on self and branching up while rooting myself in the process.
Overall
Thankful. I am thankful for this day and every day. Functioning in gratitude and understanding that everything that is will be and everything that isn’t will flee. The Crowning Soul affirmation of the month got me through and I pray that it can do the same for you.
“I chase nothing, I get everything I’m meant to.”
with love & light, Sie
