When is enough, enough?

We have all gone through periods of our life where we just can’t seem to get out of that “rough patch”.  Our feathers get ruffled, we are burdened by stress and we just can’t seem to make a way. We tend to fall into a mental space, that deters us from our blessings.

I can speak from personal experience. I took an impromptu hiatus from everything NHJ related and even socially.   I checked out from everything, minus motherhood. I was so anti, and never in the mood for anyone. I didn’t feel like being social. I didn’t want that interaction.

I needed some time to actually sit with myself. I needed to re-evaluate myself, my life, and my business.

I hit an emotional low, and I honestly never saw myself sinking to that point. I looked up one day, proud of where my life was headed and then realized in the same breath, how lonely I was. And I don’t mean lonely, in the terms of just having people around me at any moment. But emotionally, I felt alone. At first, I didn’t understand why, but when I did… It was so much deeper than the normal. I realized that when major issues and situations occurred in my life, I was standing by myself. I don’t have a safe place to land, I don’t have anyone to turn to. I just have to stand and deal.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m ready to grow and share my life with someone. I don’t want to grow old alone.

When is enough, actually enough?

I hit my peak. My level of frustration was at an all time high. I felt so stagnant and uninspired. Why was I doing any of this? Where did my passion go?? Why was I always irritable and frustrated.  I wasn’t even sleeping or eating. I could barely function and I wasn’t in the mood for conversations.  I couldn’t even write complete post on here. AT ALL!! I have over 18 drafts, just sitting and waiting to be completed. I just couldn’t find the passion to sit down and actually finish them.I even questioned my faith. I didn’t know what I was still praying for…

What was happening to me? Where was all of  my passion and motivation? What happened to my joy?

I watched my life crumble. Everyone and everything I thought I had in my corner was slowly dissipating. I couldn’t find a consistent hand to hold on to… I was stuck and lost in that phase of my life. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. My happiness was slipping away… and I couldn’t even hold on to the little bit that I had left. It happened so abruptly, I didn’t even know how or what to feel. I was a blank canvas…

something had to change.

I realized that my personal life was taking a toll on my spirit and my happiness. Sometimes, enough truly is enough. I hit my peak and started letting things and people go. Sometimes, that’s the hard part. Taking that two week moment of solitude, definitely made a lot clear for me.  I realized that some things were toxic, joy stealing situations. I have EVERY right to be happy. The time I gave myself helped me figure out a few things and write the endings to a few others.

Not everyone that says they care, truly does. Some care more for themselves than they ever could for someone else. Everyone isn’t meant to travel the small road ahead, sometimes we have to lighten our load and keep pushing, or else we will never reach our finish line.

Now, it’s a lot harder than it looks. Sometimes we get stuck in that rut, and it’s a lot harder to get out of the hole we’re in… But it’s possible. Sometimes the obvious isn’t the answer.

I couldn’t figure out how to voice what I’ve been feeling… Every time I tried to, my words would fall on deaf ears… Nobody actually cared enough to listen. Not even for a moment.  And when I was finally able to find someone that cared, I got some great advice. And I am definitely thankful. I shifted my focus to the wrong things, and those areas of my life shouldn’t be the complete focus. I needed to take some time to see myself for who I was and what I’ve accomplished. If I keep putting good out into the world, it has no choice but to comeback.

Sometimes what seems to be a setback is just the foundation for your come up. Don’t give in and never let go of what you’re passionate about. Change your focus and you’ll be just fine.

 

“Until God opens another door, praise Him in the hallway.” Won’t HE do it?!

 

Peace & blessings,

Sie 🙂

NHJ is officially back at it! Thank you for your patience, love and emails!

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