How do you face yourself after you’ve made a mistake?
How do you face what you’ve done?
We’ve all been there. Floating in denial just because we don’t want to face what has happened accept the responsibility for our actions or lack there of. Either way, it’s something that happened. Whether you regret it or not, You KNOW that it was a mistake. But facing it, is the only thing that can stop you from making the same mistake twice.
You Can’t Run Forever
Personally, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to not look the mistakes I’ve made “in the eye” out of fear, that it would discredit where I am in life. Or just make me feel like I’m a bad person. When, in essence, I’m not. Everyone says that you shouldn’t live with regrets. But at the same rate, you can’t completely disregard where you fell short and what you’ve done wrong when life is supposed to be a learning experience.. Where we learn from both the good and the bad.
But how exactly can we learn from something or a situation when we won’t even acknowledge that it happened in the first place?
I learned how to “tuck in my tail” when I was wrong.
I am as stubborn as they come, without a doubt. BUT I had to learn how to humble myself real quick. And it wasn’t something that I did for the approval or sake of other people. I had to learn how to do that for myself. It was the only way that I could be fully functional; eating and sleeping normal; and not being consumed by own thoughts and guilt. I KNOW when I’m wrong. By humbling myself, I was able to admit that I was wrong, had been wrong, messed up, effed up; or whatever combination fit the scenario. I was able to OWN that mistake without it trashing my ego, mood, etc. And If that meant I needed to apologize.. well, those came, too.
In this process, I had to learn how to forgive myself. Yes, I may have screwed myself out of a lot of things and situations. Things that could have changed how my life is today, for better or worse. I’ve had to learn that not only am I not perfect, but I really can’t dwell on the thing that I cannot go back on. My past is my past. I can’t go back and change the aspects I don’t like or the decisions I’ve made. I just have to be honest with myself from here on out to not make the same mistake twice. Sometimes, I’m hard on myself, and I’ll “kick” myself for things that I KNOWWWW I should have done differently but at this point, right now… All I can do is just accept it.
Just Face It
You are flawed. You make mistakes. Learn from them. I’ve learned to not be embarrassed by my mistakes but to try to apply that lesson learned to my life. And it doesn’t help having friends that WILL rub it in, just in case you missed a spot, which is fine. Enjoy life. Live. Learn from the teachable moments. Continue to better yourself. Just face it, no matter how hard or how fast you go, you can’t run forever.