Dear Self, An Open Letter
I’ve always been good at finding the words to comfort, motivate and affirm others – but it’s a lot more complicated to offer myself the same positive words. It’s easier to be super critical and demanding of you than it is to be proud, content and secure. It’s easier to point out all of the flaws in you verses admiring how beautiful you truly are.
It’s not that I don’t think you’re worth it… I just know that you can be so much more.
Often, you are pushed beyond your limits – harder, faster… further. Not because I don’t think you’re good enough or not doing enough… But because I know that you can and will be great. Some days, I don’t take into account that you may be unable to handle the extra pressure – but it’s because I know that you’re strong enough to handle it all; that I don’t think twice about the extra stress & anxiety that I’m causing you. I pack your planners, days and weeks – full of all the things you need to get done; without giving you time to bask in your accomplishments. And you, have accomplished so much.
I deeply apologize for how I’ve treated you.
I apologize for neglecting you, the way I talk down to you and putting you last on my priorities list. You’ve always deserved so much more than I’ve ever offered you over the years. And its time to make that change. You deserve to rest peacefully at night without overthinking life and everything else in the great beyond. You deserve your weekly lavender sea salt soaks, two a day meditation sessions and yoga everyday. You should be pampered, and treated well. I need to invest in you, the same way I invest in everything and everyone else. You deserve to rest, regroup and enjoy life. You will be praised for your accomplishments, dusted off without “I told you so’s” when you fall short, and loved unconditionally, even if all you did was get out of bed that day.
There isn’t another chance at life, without you
Knowing that you aren’t invincible and that life tomorrow, isn’t’ guaranteed. You’ve accomplished so much, and you deserve to be reminded of such. Look at your son, your business and how far you’ve come. Even through moments of panic and fear, you’ve managed to find a way to do more than just “manage.” You make it happen, make it look easy and you’ve been humbly doing things for a while now. I promise to give you a break sometimes, and not pushing you as hard. I understand that some days, you need a break and to embrace the things and moments that make you feel loved by me.
It’s hard to right this letter, without realizing that I owe you more than just an apology or an excuse. You deserve legit change that KNOWWWWW I’m capable of. With constant reminders that you are only human, and treating yourself as such, is not a weakness. I love you beyond measure and I should protect and value you as such. Give me a chance to prove myself and I knowwww you’ll be happy.