I’ve been debating with myself, for a while, on how to start and document this process. Perfecting This Thing Called Self-Care – Beginning the Journey while increasing my self love.  I didn’t fall into this journey due to a mid life crisis but I also didn’t venture into the self-care jungle pretending to be Indiana Jones. I’ve been juggling my life, and as far as I can tell, I’ve had moments where I wasn’t doing so great… nor handling it well all when normally, I can handle my life like a bawse. For me, that became a slight issue, I started this year off with a case of the New Year Blues but have been on the up and up since. This is what clicked and started the process.

Perfecting This Thing Called Self-Care – Beginning the Journey

Perfecting This Thing Called Self-Care – Beginning the Journey with this full and I mean full  load, it’s been really hard finding time to celebrate my wins but its super easy to notice my loses. Even when my loses were far less than my wins. The loses should have and COULD have went unnoticed but they didn’t. With a tendency of nitpicking at self and over thinking, I was setting myself up for a stressful disaster. I wasn’t really sure why I kept beating myself up about things that were outside of my control, but it was more of a snowball effect and too late to stop.

I took a hard look at myself

After taking a hard look at myself and barely recognizing who I was or what I was turning myself into.  Barely sleeping, passing up on meals due to not having an appetite. sinking into a realm of indifference, exhaustion and eventually depression. I just didn’t understand why I couldn’t “catch a break”. Just one day, one free day where I don’t have to think and stress. I just wanted one peaceful day but it felt almost impossible. I started reading and doing some research and the universe just happened to drop the answers in my lap.

Sitting at my job became harder and harder

Sitting at my job became harder and harder as the day went on. I was hurt, stressed, exhausted, and could barely focus. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. There just seemed to be so much happening during the day and even more at night. I was trying to find ways to keep myself from crying and realized that I was isolating myself from the people that cared about me. This particular, cold day, I went to sit in my car, another day of not eating or sleeping, and sat there. I was hit with this need to meditate.. something I’ve never really done before. I found a guided mediation for positive energy, and chose in that very moment to test it out. I knew that I wasn’t a monk, but it had to be worth the try. I sat in my car, closed my eyes, and prayed that no one would walk out of my job and spot me sitting in the passenger seat of my car, eyes closed. As the guide started, the discomfort I felt slowly went away. I was able to return back to work and smile, genuinely, and I made a commitment to myself to mediate every morning.

I’ve been hooked ever since

Through meditation, I learned how to manifest my own energy and create a permanence beyond just peace. I was able to sleep at night, I was able to smile and laugh in real-time, but most importantly, I learned that I am truly limitless.  I can guide my own destiny and manifest the life I desire. I was more spiritually connected than I gave myself credit for. But with meditation came yoga. I was a little nervous about testing the waters, but I decided to commit to a 30 day challenge, after doing yoga for about a week prior. I am currently halfway through this 30 day challenge, and what I’ve learned about myself, so far, at the beginning of this journey, has been beautiful.

Perfecting This Thing Called Self-Care – Beginning the Journey

Perfecting This Thing Called Self-Care – Beginning the Journey has been a beautiful experience. Life is a lot more peaceful, my mood is “sensational” and life is life. I still have rough patches, but I am able to brush them off and not allow myself to become emotionally or mentally affected. Like today, I accidentally got Cayenne pepper in my eye, it burned like a bihhhh, but it didn’t ruin or throw off my day. I dealt with the runny, burning and swelling eye accordingly. My eye went back to normal and my day remained sensational.

Namaste

I’m excited to journal this journal, and keep you all looped into this journey of peace that I’m on. Instagram and YouTube will be filled in o my journey as well. I’m just learning and building my confidence. Anyone is capable of attaining the change they seek.